A year ago today...

This time last year I was in full blown labour. I'm sitting here in our computer nook watching the sky darken and I clearly remember doing the same thing last year while laid up in the hospital bed hooked up to all the monitors. Warning to those that don't like labour stories - stop reading now and check back tomorrow for some cute pics! So as I mentioned last night John was away the night I started labour. I had no idea I was in labour. I kept on waking up every hour but that was nothing new. I hadn't been able to sleep for more than an hour in weeks by that point. Come morning I just felt off. It took me a few hours to realize it was coming in waves and by the time John called at 11am to say he was on his way home I did report that I was feeling a bit weird. For the next two hours I started timing my off feeling and by the time he got home at 1pm it was coming every 10 minutes. We're pretty open about poop on this site so I will say that the off feeling was like I had to poop. Knowing that nice detail I'm sure you can appreciate my reservation at John insisting I call his Aunt Bonnie to see if we should go to the hospital! As the story goes Bonnie didn't freak out but calmly told me I should get some stuff packed and go get checked out. She then called the hospital and told them I was on my way and in labour. I was still completely oblivious and spent the whole ride to the hospital telling John I was going to be so embarassed when I was told the only thing wrong with me was that I had to poop! I even talked about what we were going to have for dinner so you can imagine our shock when I was told I was being admitted because I was having contractions 2 mins apart and was 3cm dialated. There was no turning back...the girls were coming. John called our parents and Drew and they were on the road right away. The first few hours in the hospital were fine. I was able to walk around and every so often they would check the heartbeats. I was the only patient in labour and delivery and Dr Shuen was on call that night so we were all set. I remember him joking at one point that he could stagger them over midnight so they would have different birthdays. As the hours progressed they had trouble getting the heartbeats and I had to be permanently hooked up to the monitors. It was very uncomfortable not being able to move during the contractions. I became obsessed with missing the window for the epidural. I only had one item on my birth plan and it was to not miss the window for the epidural! I think I drove everyone nuts asking if I should get it yet. Finally Bonnie said to me that when I needed it I wouldn't be asking if I needed it I would be begging for it. Sure enough at some point in the early hours of June 7th Dr. Shuen broke my water. Thirty minutes later I was begging for it. I can't say I was ever scared for the girls health while I was in labour although looking back I maybe should have been. During the evening Dr Govan (their pediatrician) came in to talk to us about premature babies. He was very frank with us but I was still a bit in denial. We had spent so much time focusing on making it to 32 weeks that at 33 weeks 2 days I thought it couldn't be that bad. After the epidural we all rested for a few hours. By 5 am my nurse Juliet checked me and it was time to push. I did most of the pushing for Leah in the delivery room and then they moved me into the operating room. What a scary place. I pushed and pushed and pushed and Leah was born at 7:24am. They took her away immediately to be inspected by Dr. Govan and his team. I never wrote her APGAR down (I should ask Dr Govan) but it was not good. He came over and quickly told us they were taking her over to the NICU to get her some help for her breathing. There was no time to think about it as it was Emma's turn. True to form Emma loved her mom too much and didn't want to talk to anyone else! She did not want to descend and I pushed and pushed and pushed some more. At my last appointment with Dr. Shuen I had asked about the possibility of having one natural delivery and one c section. I had made an offhand remark about wanting one or the other but not both! Well I guess he took me seriously because he was very patient and determined to get her out without the knife. Having John's aunt Bonnie there for everything was a real comfort. I didn't ever have to wonder if my best interests were being looked out for. As the pushing continued with Emma, John was able to sense that something was up. (All my attention was being taken up by pushing). He quickly figured out that Emma's heart rate was dropping everytime I pushed and that there was some concern. After a small debate Dr Shuen decided that we would do one more push with forceps and if she didn't come then he would do a c section. Oh boy did I push that time and Emma was born 2 hours and 6 minutes after Leah at 9:30am. We all watched intently while Dr Govan examined her and my elation when he gave the thumbs up sign quickly turned to panic when I realized there was no such sign for Leah. I was able to hold Emma for a few seconds before she went off to see her sister in the NICU. They wheeled me off to recovery and then over to see the girls. It was surreal seeing them in the incubators with all those tubes running into them. Leah was on the ventilator and we had no idea what she even looked like. The next few days would be pretty stressful.